I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
