Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
