i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
