dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
