I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
