I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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