I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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