No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
