WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I miss vodka workout Fridays
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize