How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
