So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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