I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
