She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
