last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize