O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
