I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
