Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize