Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
