I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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