GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
