I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
only if we run a train.
done.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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