walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
