no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
