A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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