This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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