i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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