Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
