I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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