There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
