6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
