I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
