Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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