The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize