So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
