it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
