Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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