I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
