is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
