i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
