I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
