He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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