what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
