No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
