just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
