Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this boner is exhausting
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
