All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
last night I used snow as a chaser
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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