my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
