I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
