New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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