I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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