So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
