Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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