I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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