i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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