I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
