we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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