how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The best revenge is premature balding
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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