That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
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