just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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