he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
