just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
