Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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