Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
