dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
me + whiskey = a bad person
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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