it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
