When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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