when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
