And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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