worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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