I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize