please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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