Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
