ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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