why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The adults are the big ones right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
